I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Wilde I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma -- a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. Umberto Eco In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. Adlai Stevenson Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein I've always been sympathetic to women's dillemas because, coming of age in the seventies, I quickly caught on that women wanted it all. They wanted a job, a husband and a baby. That's why I was such a catch because I am simultaneously all three. Dennis Miller Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. Isaac Asimov The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. Aristotle Onassis I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. Woody Allen Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. H.L. Mencken To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Theodore Roosevelt Ichiro reaches first base faster than Derek Jeter on a date. Jim Caples I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. Frank Lloyd Wright Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Anonymous

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